Do you know people who are so passionate about one thing that it’s the sole driving force in their life? Whether this may be called their purpose or not, it’s what they cannot not do. They didn’t plan for it, they didn’t prepare for it, and they didn’t ask others whether it was the right thing to do. You could say they have been assaulted by it. Now, are you one of them? Yeah, me neither.
This is how most of us get conditioned. We are made to believe that we need to find this something that is supposed to be the single-pointed focus of most of our life so that we can fulfill our purpose. And when we don’t find that, as is true for many of us, we feel are failing. Most of us are in a constant state of anxious searching and seeking the one thing that will hopefully lead to everything making sense. But this might be where we have been misled.
For many years of my life I was focused only on one goal—finding my one purpose that supposedly would come in the form of one activity I enjoy so much that everything else slips into the background. And what perpetuated this neurotic search was my attention towards people who have apparently found their one purpose in the form of one activity. In the beginning, seeing others who have found their purpose was inspiring and gave me hope, but as time went on, this only reinforced the idea that I was doing something wrong. I was increasingly anxious and worried about finding “my path” in life. I was focusing so much on the goal of finding my purpose that I stopped paying attention to all the small steps I was taking. Subconsciously, I believed that when I found this thing, I would be done in a sense and that it would be smooth sailing from that day on forward.
Surrendering the Search
Then, one day, when I was at the height of my frustration, worry, and fear, I couldn’t take it any longer. I was tired of trying to figure everything out, to figure anything out. My mind felt like it was at a breaking point, as if one more thought of this nature would tip me over into a place of no return. At that moment, I said, “Screw this!” and gave up trying to think my way to my purpose. Instead of trying to figure out what my next step should be, I started to engage with life the way it presented itself to me right now.
Suddenly, I realized how ridiculous my struggle had been. I don’t need to know my next step because I’m already taking my next step. The problem was that my mind wanted to dictate what my next step should look like, which made me completely oblivious to the step I was taking right now. After I noticed that, I also realized that I had been taking steps during all this time of worry and struggle, but instead of giving credit to every single step, I disregarded them as unimportant. Really, I was in my head so much that I didn’t even pay attention to them.
This insight led me to question the assumptions I had bought into about life. For instance, that every human must have a purpose manifested in the form of a single activity or goal, that we even have to find a purpose, that we should know what our purpose looks like, or that we have to figure things out before they’re actually in our experience. When I relinquished this neurotic endeavor of trying to figure my whole life out and simply went with life, step-by-step, something peculiar happened. My worries and anxieties about purpose and meaning evaporated. I no longer felt the need to control my experience because every bit of control I thought I had was just that—a thought.
By going step by step without knowing what the next step might be, paradoxically, everything started to become clear. There was a kind of intuitive knowing of what to do next and where to go next. Naturally, this led me to creative expression in the form of painting and writing, and eventually to pursuing a Transpersonal Coaching Psychology certificate at Alef Trust. All the time, I tried to find my passion and purpose by looking outside for ideas and inspirations. But now, looking back, I see that my passions and interests were there all along. It was just about allowing them to express themselves.
The Emergence of an Idea
After continuing down this path, talking to many people about my thoughts, and gaining coaching experience, an idea started to emerge in my mind. If every step I have taken has led me to exactly where I am right now, then even the apparently pointless steps had played their role and thus were not pointless. Where I was now was the accumulation of all the many little steps taken, and I’m certain it’s the same is true for you. Where you are in your life right now is the accumulation of many little steps you have taken. And although your steps and the order of your steps are different from mine, we all share this step-by-step nature that makes up our individual paths.
The idea that formulated in my mind nudged me towards retracing my steps. I started to reflect on what I have done and tried, what practices I have done, what decisions I have made, and how I navigated my life experience. While doing this, I recognized that although every one of us takes different steps, there are themes and experiences in life we all share and some of which we have difficulties dealing with. Armed with this insight, my passion for writing, and my newly found zest for coaching, I started to create a journey.
This journey, I knew, should contain individual steps relevant to everyone’s life, no matter where one is at, and finally result in transformation. When I asked myself what transformation is, I came upon Tobin Hart’s (2000) definition:
To transform is to go beyond current form. Transformation manifests as both an outcome and a process; it is the push and the pulse that drives self-organization and self-transcendence, a movement pushing simultaneously toward increasing unity and toward diversity. In human development, it is the process by which we become more uniquely who we are, and through which we recognize how much we have in common with the universe and even recognize that, in a sense, we are the universe.
101 Steps For Transformation
Thus the 101 Steps For Transformation were born. The 101 Steps For Transformation is an eBook experience, which means it’s not just a book that is supposed to be read in one sitting, but a practical tool where one step is chosen for a day, a week, or even a month. And because there is no order to the steps, there is no need to walk them linearly. You can be guided by infinite Intelligence, the Universe, Life, God, randomness, the flying spaghetti monster, or any other entity you believe in to choose the right step for you. Therefore, everyone who embarks on this journey will have their own unique journey, not only because the order of the steps will be different for everyone but also because every one of us has a unique life context into which each step will be uniquely integrated.
Each step contains a short lesson, a quest to embody the lesson, and questions for self-reflection and inquiry. Furthermore, each step on this journey is general enough that it applies to everyone’s life. Yet looking at it through your subjective lens composed of your life experiences turns it into a unique step tailored to your life.
On your journey, I hope that you’ll experience a few things:
- Clarity and Purpose – Know what to do and why to do it to live a life of clarity and purpose.
- Authenticity – Embody your authentic personality to be who you truly want to be.
- Spiritual Development – Start seeing the truth about who you really are to free yourself from all limitations.
- Emotional Freedom – Release emotions at will and surrender the war inside yourself to be free from emotional suffering.
- Manifestations – Greater awareness over the interaction between your internal and external world to become a conscious reality creator.
- Synchronicities – Increased awareness of meaningful “coincidences” to recognize the interconnection of everything including yourself.
- Creativity – Discover your unique creative expression as you embody your authentic way to approach work and play.
- Better Relationships – Understand and improve your relationships to be free from unnecessary melodrama and conflict.
- Personal Mastery – Become the master of your awareness and attention so that you are no longer pushed around by external circumstances.
Although this may sound extraordinary and like all your life problems might be solved, there are no certainties. Unlike most books and courses in the spiritual and personal development marketplace, I don’t want to promise certain results because no matter what any guru, teacher, or wise guy says, no one can assure you anything on your inner journey. After all, it is your journey, and you are the only authority in it. Ultimately, no one can take a single step for you. But what I can promise is that by going through the 101 Steps For Transformation, applying them to your life, and doing the serious and honest self-investigation, transformation will occur. Although you will want to control the process and the outcome, this transformation may look different to what you expect.
This process is sometimes pleasant and sometimes painful, sometimes effortless and sometimes a struggle, sometimes you’ll laugh and sometimes you’ll cry, sometimes you’ll be clear and sometimes you’ll be confused, sometimes you’ll want to quit everything and sometimes you’ll ride a wave of momentum. And while holding space for all these polarities and increasing your awareness, I hope you’ll start to recognize what is unaffected by this dualistic play of push and pull—your true nature. With this recognition, my hope is that your journey of transformation comes to an end as you realize that nothing needs to change because what you are is already all there is.
You can order the 101 Steps For Transformation on my website here: 101 Steps For Transformation. Each order includes a couple of exciting bonuses.